I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
