Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
