Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
