I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
