Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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