5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
