Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
