I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
