for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
