Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
