I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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