Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
