just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
