Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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