u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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