I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize