i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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