Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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