you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
