It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
