My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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