is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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