The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
