Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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