you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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