The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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