dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
