how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
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he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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