Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
