your room smells of hookers.
And success
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
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I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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