I wish i was in the wii world.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
