My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
