is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
