the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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