he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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