Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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