I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
