I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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