Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
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I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
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Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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