so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
