I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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