R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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