I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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