hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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