But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
