i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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