you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
