It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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