first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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