The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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