we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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