you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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