how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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