She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
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Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
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In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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