"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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