If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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