please come you make the beer taste better
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
