We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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