so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
