Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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