Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
